


The Fourth

by FalseCamaro (Gandalfgirl579)



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Fourth of July, M/M, Past pynch, Regret, So much angst, past rovinsky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 07:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gandalfgirl579/pseuds/FalseCamaro
Summary: "I miss him."Gansey had been afraid of that. It was like this every year. Sighing, he settled on the grass next to Ronan. "I thought you and Adam breaking up was mutual?" It felt wrong, playing dumb, but there were occasions when it worked."I don't meanhim."





	The Fourth

"Ronan?" Gansey's voice was mostly drowned out by the echoing of fireworks. It was unusual for the grounds of the Barns to be so noisy, but he supposed the holiday justified it. "Are you all right?"

"Shouldn't you be with Sargent and Cheng?" 

The snark didn't have its usual edge, and Gansey braced himself for the worst, saying, "They'll be fine alone for one night."

Ronan didn't look at him, eyes on the sky when he softly admitted, "I miss him."

Gansey had been afraid of that. It was like this every year. Sighing, he settled on the grass next to Ronan. "I thought you and Adam breaking up was mutual?" It felt wrong, playing dumb, but there were occasions when it worked.

"I don't mean _him_."

_Damn_. Hands curling into fists in the grass, Gansey asked, "You mean Kavinsky?"

"Yeah, I do." Ronan's face lit up blue with the next firework exploding in the sky.

Gansey looked away. If he looked hard enough, he could see Opal way down the hill, lighting the fireworks and dancing among the embers.

Eventually, Ronan spoke. "With Adam, we got the chance to try, " he said. "It didn't work out, but _we got to try_." There was something soft in his voice that made Gansey distinctly uncomfortable. "With K, we were both stupid kids, and we never had the chance to really try. I never even got to kiss him, and I..." He trailed off, biting at one of the leather bands about his wrist. Gansey briefly caught himself wondering if they were the originals or Kavinsky's copies.

"He got what he wanted, Ronan." When he reached out to touch Ronan's shoulder, he was immediately shrugged off. "He got what he deserved."

"He deserved a Hell of a lot better than what he got, Dick." Ronan still wouldn't look at him. It had been nearly three years, and it seemed he still hadn't let go of the deeply-hidden guilt he felt over Kavinsky's suicide. "I thought of dreaming him back a million times, but I can't get it right. There's always something missing. I'm afraid if I did bring him back, he'd end up like Proko."

"He wasn't good for you, Ronan." Gansey said it as carefully as he could. "You need to move on."

"No shit." Ronan ran a hand through his hair, a few inches of dark curls. 

" _Ronan_." It was half a command. " _ **You can't bring him back**_."

"I know." The next firework was bright green, glinting off the wetness in Ronan's eyes. "Guess I'm just gonna have to stick to dreaming about him."

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this is probably gonna be my last TRC fic unless I get into the show or the next series, so let's give K a proper memorial for the Fourth. He deserves it.
> 
> As always, I must mention that I go by [aiimeriic](http://aiimeriic.tumblr.com/) over on Tumblr, and I'm totally open to taking questions and comments and requests and prompts there! :) Hit me up!


End file.
